Friday, September 9, 2011

Still toying...

...with the idea from yesterday's post. How about?:

brass band
in the distance --

crisp with ice

In his essay the other day on what makes a haiku, Curtis Dunlap talks of them as single-breath poems. I'm having trouble bringing the ideas of Veteran's Day and the frosted pansies together in words that will fit into a single breath. So this version becomes a two-breath poem. Not necessarily two haiku mashed together, or an attempt at a renga or any other kind of linked poetry. Simply a two-breath poem. How many breath units could you stack together and still have a wieldy poem? Would it have to be wieldy and stable? Or could the breath units remain steady but the thought behind them flit about like thoughts do? Of course they could, and I'm sure many poets have already considered this and worked from it. But it's a newer avenue of thought for me, so we'll see where it goes...

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